yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
