So drunk its hurt
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
