Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
