You really coming over, don't trick.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
