Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
