She's JV to your varsity
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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