i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize