found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
even my farts smell like vagina
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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