im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Randomize