4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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