The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
