sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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