Small penises have feelings too.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
