90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
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My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
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There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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