i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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