i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
