he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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