I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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