i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize