that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
