we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
