i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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