i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
