There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Randomize