I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize