so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
