I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize