Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
