I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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