imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
