Small penises have feelings too.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
