My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
why do cheetos always look like penises
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
