This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
