that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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