well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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