I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize