My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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