you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Randomize
