I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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