another moral hangover. fuck.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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