She went from zero to smokin in five shots
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
