Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.