I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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