grandma shit on top of the toilet
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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