just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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