YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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