PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize
