Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I am available for nakedness
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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