but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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