nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
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I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
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Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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