just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
