brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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