So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
We are all done wearing pants today
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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