am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
