"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
