my being single is dangerous.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
