when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
