dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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