so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Green mimosas i think yes
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
