Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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