We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
