i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Randomize
