she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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