Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
