Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
