you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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